Hermit

You say that she doesn’t matter
But you cling to her like she’s the only person alive
I try to stop myself
I have no right to speak of your relatioship,
Or to make judgements in your life

But it hurts me that you keep it a secret,
Like I’m not worthy to be your keeper,
Like I don’t matter at all.

My wheels have been turning all night

Trying to decipher every word
Every syllable of every sentence you said
Because maybe I’ll have a clue
Of how much she really matters to you

Because you say that you miss me,
That we should get together too
But we never do,
Never like you two do.

And I try to tell myself,
I try to convince myself,
That it’s only because she’s leaving soon,
And you said you two weren’t close

And so I put my blinders on,
Having faith in you.
But all the signs have been telling me otherwise
And even my blinders weren’t effective
To hide the light she brings in you

I’ll stop, then
I know where I’m not wanted.
Let me crawl back to my cave.
Let me suffer alone,
Like I always do
-SMETAHQ